Chapter 22: The Unsettling — Part 10
Sissy lay crying in bed for hours after her words with Jun. Ren sat with her for awhile, but, when it became apparent his charming disposition could not help a young woman who had never slept with a man before, and saw, emotionally speaking, no use for the male of the species, he sought out the only woman he had ever been able to relate to. Nikkei, as it turned out, was busy talking with Senator Jones about Trenton Smith. The conversations proved less important to Nikkei than Ren’s needs, so she said her goodbyes and looked into Ren’s eyes in that passive, beautiful way that always made Ren shiver.
“So pumpkin, what can I help you with today?” Nikkei asked, with no small amount of affection.
“Sissy is crying in her chambers.” Ren said. “She certainly doesn’t like men. I thought, since you are a woman, that you might be able to help her.”
Nikkei considered Ren’s words. “I’ve got it! I’ll go talk to her and see what’s bothering her.”
“She hasn’t a Core. That’s what’s bothering her.” Ren said.
Nikkei’s gentle smile turned sour. “Of course that has nothing to do with it. But we do have to talk.”
Nikkei took up her coat, and without much consideration for privacy or Sissy’s appearance, snapped into Sissy’s room and dragged the girl from her bed, having decided to take the girl shopping. They started with breakfast at a small teashop that opened early in the three-story mall.
“Why are you doing this?” Sissy asked.
“Pearl made me promise.” Nikkei said. “You need clothes and makeup to play with, and you need to smile.”
Sissy’s expression was one bordering on hatred. “Why would I want to smile at a time like this?”
“Because my dear lady, the day is young, the mall is open, and we have Orchid’s credit card at our full disposal.” Nikkei said.
“You’re not Pearl.” Sissy said, her voice nearly broken and flat.
“I know. But I can see what others have not. Maybe they didn’t look, maybe they are selfish. Maybe we all love you too much to see it. Maybe we are all too absorbed in sorrow to tell you.”
“What are you talking about?”
Nikkei sipped her tea, stared straight into Sissy’s eyes, speaking extremely carefully. “Do you promise you will do nothing rash if I tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“You are a Core carrier.” Sissy started to protest but Nikkei raised a finger. “Sush child. You are one of us already, but the others can’t see it, or aren’t telling you.”
“Why didn’t anybody else know?” Sissy said.
“I only knew the day I brushed your hand and gained from you your first memories of Pearl. She either did not know what she had done, or she did not want to burden you with the knowledge until you were older, calmer, and more self-aware. As it stands now, you will live three hundred years and then go to core at about the same time as myself, to sleep for three hundred years.” Nikkei said.
“I will be out of synchronization with the first generation.” Sissy said.
“Yes honey, and that you made that observation all on your own astounds me.” Nikkei said.
“And I will only have twenty years of Pearl’s love every three centuries?”
“Unfortunately yes, sweetie.” Nikkei said. “Because I thought you could use some cheering up, I brought you to the mall.” Nikkei said, snagging Sissy’s hand when she tried to get away.
“I can’t live without her.” Sissy started to cry.
Nikkei held Pearl closely, wishing she could keep the girl from feeling such horrible pain. “Pearl wants you to have this time without her. This chance to become a more complete person.” Nikkei clucked quietly.
“How do you know what Pearl wants?”
“Because she took my hand one day, and now I know her as well as I know you. Pearl wants you to be happy. She does not want you to miss any part of your life, no matter how long it may seem to you.” Nikkei said.
“She wants me to be happy?” Sissy said. “She wants me to be happy?” Sissy tore herself from Nikkei’s grip, started to run.
Nikkei stood there, in shock, while Sissy vanished from plain sight in a room full of astonished onlookers. Nikkei could do nothing about the looks of shock. The people of Earth would know soon enough about the Bender Society, and such odd occurrences would become commonplace. To save Sissy, she too would have to violate the bender agreements and perhaps pay the price later. To the crowd around her, Nikkei also disappeared. It took little effort to find Sissy. The girl was young, and Snapping on instinct, rather than using bender technology, she had left an easily readable trail. She came out on the dark side of the Earth, in low orbit. Ice formed around her body, even as Nikkei approached her. Nikkei’s field enveloped Sissy, who did not have the strength to Snap again, and who, had Nikkei arrived just a few seconds later, would be dead.
“How . . .” Sissy said, trembling.
“Mama Nikkei isn’t as ditsy as you might think.”
“I’ll find a way to kill myself.” Sissy said.
“I’m not going to try to stop you, when the time is right.” Nikkei said. “But if you do this now, you will die forever. If you wait until you’ve formed your Core, then even if your memories fade, you will at least have the hope of knowing Pearl again.”
“What do you mean, hope?”
“When one’s life is ended unexpectedly, the Core cannot capture all the memories of one’s past. If, after you form your Core, you choose to take your life, then your memories will most probably be lost when your time comes to reform.” Nikkei spoke softly in Sissy’s ear. “So you have to ask yourself which is more important to you, your memories of this time, or a chance at a new time in which you and Pearl can spend a whole life. And how will Pearl react to somebody who to her is familiar, but to whom she is a stranger?”
Sissy’s eyes teared over and she let out a choking sob more wrenching than Nikkei could ever have imagined. “What if I stop loving her?”
“Ahh, honey, love doesn’t work that way.” Nikkei said. “Can I take you home now?”
“Let’s watch the moon rise, if you’re not too tired.”
“I’m never too tired to what the moon rise.”
The two didn’t go home immediately. Instead Nikkei and Sissy spent their time on the Moon, on Mars, and walking in museums the world over. When they finally did return, Sissy went back to her room, where Ren lay with his head on her desk, having fallen asleep while waiting for her. When he looked up, his eyes were puffy and black and stained with tears. Sissy hugged Ren tightly, kissing his tears away, then took him to bed.
